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lovely... [05 Aug 2003|12:19am] (things i am likely to revisit for future paintings...) i was thinking: -how do i kill a feeling... it could probably just disappear, right? (text ate lucille and ask) how do i kill a feeling? to stab him in my heart? -i'm an artist... these are my works... and then i die. thinking of ariel yamba, how his artistic occupations seem to be consuming his mind and body. post comment

God is cool. [18 Jul 2003|12:03am] I'm thankful for very many people in my life... my sister, ate pepep, jul and, even, Bob. His name isn't really bob, but me and my sister just call him thus. I am thankful that our family still manages to glue together, though barely, through the testing times. My sister, because she is both my patient and my shrink. Ate pepep, because, when she pats me at the back, i feel secure; it's as though she's become an older sister of sorts. I am one to look for an older brother or sister just because i don't have one. It's as though she's filled the void that Ate Faith left when she went to Dumaguete. I really do regret, now, taking Ate Faith's presence for granted. Not only did she teach me how to play the keyboard, she also showed me compassion and mercy... she smiled whenever i was late, whenever i took her lessons for granted. i could have clobbered myself out of anger, and she never did. I realize, now, that i miss her. Ate Pep is really nice, warm and almost motherly... only in a cool way. she doesn't remind me of my mother at all, which is good. Jul, because she keeps me sane. haha. she's a great person... and i'm glad to have met her. And... Bob... i'm thankful for you, even if i struggle over you everyday. Bro, when we're old... i will tell you about this: 'Bro, you gave me such a hard time!' yadda-yadda... we'll be laughing our heads off. You inspire me to become a better person daily. post comment

... [17 Jul 2003|01:55am] [ mood | dorky ] you don't know... and i'm glad that you don't. post comment

huff... weeez... [12 Jun 2003|10:05am] people important to me... (in no particular order) ate faith gai-gai russ mohn ate lucille jul my sister ate bing maybe i'd even add RC here. ate faith is my keyboard teacher... she's taught me a lot about unconditional love. i'm not actually the best student there is... gai-gai also taught me a lot about giving and being selfless, in a way. she's also really good at football and i look up to her. russ was my christian friend, turned gay existentialist, and he's important to me because he's an addition to the spectrum of people in the world. he's allowed me to accept certain realities. also we have the best conversations about art and life. mohn, well, i just am really fond of her. also i miss her because she currently on LOA... uh.. we spent last semester doing cheap mural paintings for ultra-thrifty clients. hehe. ate lucille, my life coach. really, where would i be if not for her? jul, my christian artist friend... uh, a moderator of sorts. a living reminder that art is not for art's sake. my sister. because she's my sister! 'nuf said. ate bing. our pastor. the first to really encourage me with my writing... i didn't know my writing was in any way concretely useful, until she pointed it out. hehehe. and she's important for so many other reasons. i sometimes wonder about the time when ate bing will leave us, i always wonder how things would occur, how people would react. i'm both scared and thrilled. i wonder a lot about the youth when that times comes... i wonder where we'd be by then? so many questions. RC, bestfriend from 5th grade to 4th year high school. uh... we had a little disagreement when he decided to get a girlfriend and i was worried it would somehow affect his studies. i guess i was too rash with my answer. i think we're ok now. 1 comment|post comment

whew! [12 Jun 2003|10:00am] it took me a while to figure this whole livejournal thing out. Haha. does that mean i'm getting old... aren't we all? ok.... just had breakfast, it's been almost two days since my last cup of coffee. Coin operated boy by Dresden Dolls is blaring in my winamp... i have paperwork piling up. All for dear FASO's recognition. Yes.... The Fine Arts Students Organization. ok... seriously, me and russ talked over coffee last week, and he knows that i wish to not be part of the execom for FASO next year. His sentiments for UPSTAGE are similar. But you come to a point where you worry what would happen to the organization if you weren't part of it. Well, let's see how things go. Before i know it this year will have finished itself. post comment

lingering on the subject... [11 Jun 2003|09:30pm] [ mood | weird ] My sister is one of the most annoying people in the world. and i do mean it. i have here a livejournal, i have lots of friends who have livejournals so i guess i'm going to make one. :D post comment

wahehe. [11 Jun 2003|09:15pm] my sister is bipolar and i'm histrionic. coolness. Your Birthdate: September 22 While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings. You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion. Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings. Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma. An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail. You are very aware and intuitive. You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension. What Does Your Birth Date Mean? post comment

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